I have found myself guilty. I am someone who falls in love with the idea of love. Unlike Bernadette Peter's in Cinderella though, I still believe that there is more to love than foolishness. Of course, many people fall in love with love. But I am realizing that I don't really have a focus for those feelings. I don't really have a clear idea of what is best for me. In recent ponderings during free time at work and home, and with another empty Valentine's Day looming ever closer, I have been distinctly wondering if I actually know what I am looking for, aside from love.
I guess, I want to find someone who really complements me. My true other half. That doesn't go to say that I have regretted past relationships. They have been good in their own ways. I have learned so much about myself and about relationships in general, but I have never felt that I found someone who balanced me. Or someone who appreciated me as I appreciated them. Aside from school girl fantasies of a handsome stranger who wears waistcoats, enjoys old movies, and loves witty banter, you wouldn't think it would be all that difficult to discern what you want to find in someone else. But alas, I have become a fool for the idea of love.
I must clarify that it isn't necessarily foolish to be a helpless romantic. To buy into the hopes that every chick flick that Hollywood produces could come true. Yet, all too often, these movies either make one's expectations impossible or create a skepticism of the actual chase. As much as I would like to find my own "Joe-Jouster" (yes, you may note the J's) or Joe Fox, I need to come back to reality. Real love isn't like the movies. Hate to break it to you, but Hollywood does not depict reality in love.
Real love should be simple. Small things each day that tie two people eternally together. Shared joys and shared pains. Shared laughter and shared tears. It will be patient and enduring. It will bring two people's dreams together. It may not be perfect, but it will work toward the same goals. It will not be guided by fear but rather by glorious light.
Don't misunderstand me. I completely believe in this real love. And I am guilty of being a helpless romantic sometimes. But it is time for me to take a step back. To fall out of love with love. Then I will be able to pursue the right things and find what I am really looking for. It may be right in front of me. Or it may require some additional searching. But I need to stop being lured in by the possibility of love so that I can actually find real love. Not just the idea. All I can say is, I have a great deal of soul searching ahead. Here's to finding an enduring love. A love that doesn't appear one designated day of the year, but reaches for the eternities.